This Is Not A TEST 0 Report post Posted May 7, 2004 Hey all you fans and programers, hackers and phycos, freaks and frauds, and everyother person... listen up okay here it goes me and my mother dont get along she has authourity of what..? can she force me to go to church and punish me if i dont...? man/woman, this sucks i am 14 she thinks that she can revoke the first amendment Freedom of speech, of expression, of opinion but i kno i should respect her i love my mom...but i also hate her she thinks she can tear me and my girlfriend appart just because we had cyber and ya kno my mom thinks that everything i do can only be restricted to religion i have fought 3 days in a row to the highest degree but i havent went on a rage yet.... i need help support do you think she can base punishment on bible for things that me and my girlfriend do IS THAT NOT PRIVATE i have one male adult that lives here he is my uncle he under stands me and i am waitin for his dispute between my mom i really need it to happen. my mom says i have no respect at all and since i have no respect for her (which aint all true..fighting makes it seam that way.) is not every generation diffrent.... what Jen and I do is imoral? she says that if i had respect for jen we wouldnt have done that... now my mom told jen and she feels so bad and i been cryin my ass off... my mom wont accept the diffrence in me to her the opposite sex at all.... idk i been grounded for along time but monday and tuesday i was off the net but now i aint i broke it wed,thur,and friday which is today so i am lost in my mind i cant stop thinkin about jennifer and we love eachother soo much but my mom dont under stand and that is a major bomb things that she has done in the past are in the past rite? and shouldnt affect the pressendt i forgave jen and that is a major resion wy i love her and vice versa... what should i do when how legal advice huh..? guys...? any thing will help me out and i love the game but i am so depressed Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cold_fusion 0 Report post Posted May 7, 2004 Uhhh.. shouldnt this go to the off topic forum? ^_^ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Prophecy 0 Report post Posted May 7, 2004 ok, first mistake. You're 14 years old and you say you in love, now I'm not going to jump to conclusions here but I am going to present some counter-points. Did you like some of the decisions you made when you were 4 years old? No, because now you're 14 and you know better. But 10 years from now you will be 24, and you will regret some decisions you have made now. What I'm trying to say is that love is permanent, you cant get rid of it. I dont mean permanent like a tattoo or cancer, I mean that if you are in love you cant get out of it. You may seem to be in love right now but in 10 years you could hate yourself for sacrificing too much of your life to someone who hardly affected it. Your legal abilities in this situation are also gloom. You are under 18 and you have no rights except the right to live. Dont try and twist that around by saying "I cant live without her bla bla bla...." because I dont think they'll include that on your autopsy after you commit suicide. I would seriously not try to get into any kind of legal situation unless we are talking about severe physical abuse here, but it usually turns out that Mothers are very right about the mindset of young girls since they used to be one. Trust me though, the age of 14 is a very hectic time in a guys life, hormones begin to affect you body and especially your mind. You need to just calm down and think about this for a few days, the answer will always come to you when you put your mind to it. Good Luck :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IconOfEvi 0 Report post Posted May 7, 2004 (edited) Yo dude im 15 and waht Prophecy says is about right. Most people think this is puppy love, middle school love. But see when you grow up you gotta prepare to have relatiuonsships lasting months, even years before being married. My bro (16) has been goin out with a girl now for about 2 years. I know what you mean 14 is hectic-man those damn hormones...make whole new feelings to the women who are your friends...:). As for me I got parents who I love and hate. Its odd to think that but its possible. Trust me-if you're gonna grow up-which you will, you'll start shouting with your parents nearly everyday about something. it's because humans have a hormone which I like to call the 'rebel' gene. It makes you much more argumentive for your point. And you're gonna have to take falls to make even greater leaps :). AS in you'll have to get grounded at times to get some point across-I'd be able to help a lot and so would many others here :((I am 15 so I know most recently :)). So don't hesitate to post here at DS about problems at home and stuff...just make sure ya put it in Off Topic :). Jeeeez we outta make a counseling thread :)...maybe not... Edited May 7, 2004 by IconOfEvi Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vinifera7 0 Report post Posted May 8, 2004 Yes, maybe not, but I am glad that you asked about that here. There are a lot of guys here that have been through their early teens and have mothers like yours. Like me for example! I am an 18 year old male who lives in Redford, a small suburban town that borders Detroit. I live with my mom and dad who are amazingly still together (since a lot of couples get divorced nowadays) and my 11 year old brother. I am a highschool senior and I have earned decent graded all throughout my school career. Now that I am 18 I have certain privilages that I didnt have when I was 14 obviously, but if I want to live in my parents house (which I do until I graduate) I have to follow their rules explicitly. Sometimes we don't think our parent(s) make the best decisions for us when we're young but all you can really do is let them know how we feel. Easier said than done right? Well yeah it is! I can recall having countless screaming fights with my mother over a wide range of issues. Of course i can't remember anything specific from when I was 14, but lets take an example of an argument that I got into with my mom only year (give or take 6 months) ago. My mom is a Catholic. I think I need to do more research on religion especialy "Catholic" because of my religous status. I am an agnostic. That is different than an athiest because an athiest denies ALL religion, while an agnostic is unsure if he/she believes or not. That is not the most glamorous position to be in but it is MY position, currently. I used to follow the Catholic church with my parents, but since I was younger I didnt know any better, it was simply routine. Now that I am a little older and wiser I am beginning to have thoughts and opinions of my own. I no longer believe in the Catholic Faith. I believe that a lot of it is just pleasant poetry and show, with no lasting ("lasting" is a really shitty word choice here but I couldn't think of anything else) value, and I dont agree with some of the "teachings". But that's to ME. I am perfectly fine and open to the chance that other people DO get lasting meaningful value from it. Unfortunately, my mom's not so open to others' opinions as I am. She says that I have to attend church each week as a condition to me living in HER house. So I go. I go through all the motions including making the sign of the cross, standing, sitting, kneeling, bowing, receiving communion, and shaking hands and smiling. But it is only acting. And because it is only acting it leaves me with a feeling of a pit in my stomach, an ill, empty feeling. You may have experienced a similar feeling before for a brief moment when something really terrifyingly exciting happens to you like the feeling of falling. Or if you have really strong feelings for someone (the precise feeling that I have in mind, and that I have felt of course, I would classify as a kind of love.) you may feel a similar feeling in your stomach. And speaking of love (i'll keep this brief so i dont deviate too much), love is not necessarily something that you feel for the opposite sex, in the case of being heterosexual. I believe that one can feel love for another of the same sex even if he/she is not homosexual. Sexual orientation is, rather, a sexual preference in sexual relationships (in other words, which sex do you preffer to have sex with). Ok. So after all reading all this mumbo-jumbo you might be asking “What does all this have to do with me?” Actually, it has a lot to do with you. If you say that you love her, I for one, believe you. In my philosophy, I believe that love and sex do not go hand in hand. You can love someone, but not want to have sexual relations with them. But if you love someone, chances are that you have a meaningful relationship with them, which can lead to something called trust. Then, if you trust someone that you love you may choose to have sexual relations with them. On the other hand, you can have sexual relations with someone that you don’t love just as easily. If you want to have sex with someone but you don’t love them, it is called lust, and should not be confused with love (which as I mentioned before has nothing to do with sex). So this is what your situation seems like to me: You love this girl. You trust her even. Then one day you decide to engage in an act called “Cybering”, which usually means masterbating oneself while talking online to another. This is perfectly fine. It is safe because the only thing touching your body is you. You didn’t mention what religion you were, so I cant determine whether “Cybering” is taboo or not for you, but I can tell you that since “Cybering” is just masterbating, it is actually supported by Christianity (the Bible says it's a good thing). As hard as it may be, you may choose to discuss with your mother these issues. The rest is pretty much up to you because I’m not you so I can’t tell you what to do. Good luck, and don’t give up! Edit: I just looked this up. Before I thought I read that the Bible says masterbating is ok, but this link says masterbating isn't even mentioned in the Bible. The link also addresses the question "is masterbating a sin". http://www.letsdiscussjesus.org/question_55.htm Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
This Is Not A TEST 0 Report post Posted May 8, 2004 (edited) :( :( :lol: ;) :( Edited May 8, 2004 by This Is Not A TEST Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
This Is Not A TEST 0 Report post Posted May 8, 2004 Vinifera7 yo thank you i love her and multiple times have wondered if it is real and not lust but granted lust is part of life i love her more than i lust her and i am christain. no division or anything.... but the cybering didnt have me masterbate tho.. only on the fone...and i dont think that what i do is all wrong and all rite in the same... i feel regret afterwords and talk to her as if i had broke her heart tho... and my mom is only folling the bible and respect to her is going to church with her every time until i am 18... that is insane i think along with millions of other ppl she wont take in to picture that other adults believe the same and still let there kids live there privet livves and that is what i dont have as a male... she said i cant talk to jen until i respect her and learn some morals i dont hate my mom i love her but cant show it and i HATE her rule and punishment... i realize it is trying to help but my opinion is i have to make peace with myself the make peace with god... yo that site is great... thaks alot but i dont want to have my girlfriend get hurt and my mom thinks that is what will happen if that stuff is okay... and i LOVE her soo much i cry for her and her saftey and i think as a tough guy my soft side is for her and a couple other girls that i love... i love multiple people and i get confused if that would upset them but i dont kno what to theink i am worried and i dont want her to get hurt and if i cant talk to her under my moms punishment then how do i kno if she is okay and is safe she says she cryies all the time... and i dont like to but i do i dont kno about that either...? and i kno blaha blah blha ah every generation is farther from god and that is the problem i feel like a couple catholics but aint punished like them i defy them and i dont kno... i called my mom fat one day and that was cuz she was embaressing me infront of my buddies she breastfeeds and i dont kno what elese to do she took that the wrong way and last night i was on the fone with another girl who dislikes her fater and is on the same page as me and eventually we didnt scream cuz it was like eleven at nite but i explained and tried i should say to point out all most all of what i have said but she dont care and my llife is stuck.. my days have grown longer when i talk to jen and half the time i wasnt horny but faked it and there is a problem i have a huge ass guilty conseous and that really sucks cuz ya kno i dont have really close friends and i am not for rap and everyone thinks i aint a virgin due to rumors of spite and everyoune thinks i am a HUGE druggy when i aint done shit... and i smoked sutin once but it didnt get me high I faked it and i tried to drink vodka and that didnt work i wasnt drunk and gave up on that soo i rite now am haome alone it is two twenty pm on the 8 or 9 th of may and defying a punishment of being on the PC and i know it is wrong but i still feel it is neccesary until i get my point proven... and i dont wanna lose out but that will happen and i kno it but maken me choose between not going to church and not gettin ainy thing or going and faking that i am geeting morals and stuff when i wont... i have so much respect for girls that others dont see and it makes me feel funny becaruse it is like when you kno suptin they dont and they do the wrong thing it feels gud but bad at the same time i wanna go to heaven and i pray for jen and lots of other girls and for devliverence to crist and money cuz owur home is so underdeveloped and my grandma lives with me and my uncle mom not dad and two bros one is ten and he is going down the wrong path too young and i aint going into detail bout that besides the fact that he has absolutely no self-esteem at all and he dont waanna do sports and hurts himself mentally and physically and i push him far beyond his limits but it is for reasons that he dont fault where i fell and my youngest bro is one year old and 3 months and he is half black my moom is never been married all my siblings are 1/2 brothers and sisters and the baby has the longest name and he will be hurt cuz he will lose me and i love him soo much because we won PCC in basketball this year 'porter county confrence' and he watced sports and me play and practice and he is gonna succeed beyond belife and all in sports he is so damn smart too... he goes nuts over any type of ball even football it is awesome and HE IS GONNA FAIL IF NOT OLIVER PLAYS SPORTS and is no longer appathentic well i dont kno i wrote alot and am waitin for a reply and need lots of suupport so thank you Vinifera7 for agreening with me aliittle i understand the thang about 4 but that is diffrent because of how messed up my family was and is... i understand that love is permanent But i wanna love her and dont want it to be just lust and infatuation but i question myself and deny it but when we talk i feel soo good not no artificial thing... i have said that sex n stuff is extra.. that comes after love and I do have morals and wish my mom would see that... BUT NO IF I RESPECTED HER AND HAD MORALS THOSE THINGS WOULD HAVE NEVER ENTERD MY HEAD AND I WOULDNT HAVE DONE IT AT ALL... I DONT AGRREE WITHE HER AT ALL.... thaks guys and keep postin you really helped Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vinifera7 0 Report post Posted May 8, 2004 i understand that love is permanent But i wanna love her and dont want it to be just lust and infatuation but i question myself and deny it but when we talk i feel soo good not no artificial thing... i have said that sex n stuff is extra.. that comes after love and I do have morals and wish my mom would see that... You CAN love her!!!!! Anyone can love someone else, even if they aren't loved back. However, if what you meant is that you want to have a relationship with her then there is your age to consider. I would say it is alright to date her, even go steady with her (meaning that she's your devoted girlfriend), but realize that you aren't looking for a lifetime relationship. Obviously you aren't going to marry her at age 14. About "loving" multiple girls: as I said before you can love anyone, so it's alright to love more than one girl, boy, adult, or anyone. But I think you are getting the term "love" confused with having a relationship with someone. It's perfectly fine if you date multiple girls, but let them know that it's just for fun, only a date. But if you want to go steady with a girl, you can't go dating other girls anymore until you break up with her. When you want to go steady with a girl, let her know, but I would only ask her if I knew her pretty well already. Such knowledge can be attained through dating or hanging out with that girl. Just being with her, you can find out about her personality and values. Dating is just more intimate than just hanging out with her since it's just the two of you. Also, about every generation being different: I meant to address this before but I forgot. I don't believe that every generation is different, in terms of people. I DO believe that situations change, but people are and always will be people. Everyone wants basic things like love, respect, and praise. Human nature is the same today as it was thousands of years ago. Well that's MY philosophy anyway. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
This Is Not A TEST 0 Report post Posted May 8, 2004 well now i am confused but i do love her and that is that... the otheir girls i love is more from caring and a protective factor i have been with two girls and jennifer and her good friend whitney are those girls they live a mile apart but i live three hours away and i think that love is stronger rithe and at the same time harder..? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
