Biohazard 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 (edited) - Once upon a time there was a funny looking KV-2. It was cute and Russian and very very tall. One day, the big bad German army came to conquer Mother Russia, so the plucky big KV-2 went to stop them. The Panzer Divison approached it and said "KV-2! KV-2! Please let us through or we'll destroy you!" but the KV-2 said NO! and wouldn't move (because it had run out of gas). - The German Panzer Division said "You give us no choice!" and opened fire. The KV-2, not scared in the least by the puny weapons of the Germans, shot back! A furious battle ensued - "Boom Boom!" said the KV-2! "Crunch Crash!" went the Germans as the brave KV-2 destroyed several nasty Panzer tanks, but it was sad, because it's pretty green paint had been scratched. Night fell, and the KV-2 went to sleep. - But the Germans weren't done with it! That very night, the Germans sent men sneaking up to it with big bombs to blow it sky high. The KV-2 slept soundly on, not hearing a thing because it was completely deaf from the day's battle. The next morning, the Germans set off the bombs! BOOM! But the KV-2 wasn't harmed! However, it was woken up and very very displeased. So it shot back at the mean Germans and blew up more of their tanks. - By now the Germans were very very cross. Their advance into Mother Russia was waaaay behind schedule, so they decided to use Bigass Geschütz, the artillery battery. The KV-2 looked on as the Bigass Geschütz was towed up and put in place. Finally, the Germans pointed it at the KV-2 and said "We will kill you now!" but the KV-2 decided it was bored and wanted a new toy instead of the Bigass Geschütz. "Boom! Boom!" said the KV-2, and "Crunch Crash!" went the Bigass Geschütz. The KV-2 lived on, and the Germans were even more cross. Their advance into Mother Russia was now even further behind schedule! - That very night the Germans brought up their biggest antitank guns and set them up behind the snoozing KV-2. Meanwhile, their remaining tanks went around the other side to distract it. The next morning, the German tanks went running up to rudely awake the KV-2. Oh was it mad! Everybody knows never to wake up a Russian with a vodka and cordite gunpoweder hangover! "Boom Boom!" said the KV-2, and "Crunch Crash!" went the German tanks! But then the Germans sprung their trap! The biggest antitank guns dropped their masks and shot the KV-2 in the butt! It was terrible! There was a trememdous explosion... ... and the KV-2 ceased to be. - The Germans, in a state of euphoria over their victory lined up, pushed the poor dead KV-2 off the road and began advancing again into Mother Russia. However, they rejoiced too soon! The KV-2's friends, though unable to help in it's hour of need, were waiting in ambush for the Germans. The cocky jubilant Germans walked right into a trap. "Boom Boom!" went the KV-1s and BT-7's and T-26s that lay in wait! "Crunch Crash!" went the Germans! And the KV-2 was gloriously avenged. - Today, the KV-2 is no longer among us, but his memory lives on, and Mother Russia was saved. At least for the time being. The end! (I wrote this as a "bedtime story" to a friend of mine completely spontaneously via IM. I copied it out of the log into here. Surprisingly enough, this is a true story. The KV-2 was one tough mother to take out) Edited September 30, 2004 by Biohazard Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AshJW 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 next, on Soviet bedtime stories. "Comrade Stalin and the Pesky Kulaks" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kaiser_Smeghead 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 I think you are saying a true story bio. I have read in my big tank book that a single KV-2 held up the advance of the entire 1st (i think) panzer division into russia. The knocked out the tracks but needed engineers to blow it away. It held up their advance for a few days i think. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NukesforBreakfast 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 stupid russians and their stupid tanks always messing up my plans to win a blitz game as axis bah humbug :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Biohazard 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 Surprisingly enough, this is a true story. The KV-2 was one tough mother to take out ;) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godwin 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 now what kind of friend would need this kind of a bedtime story? hmmmm....... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yamato 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 me zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FECrtn2 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 I tought the KV-2 was using a howitzer cannon? :D And its big assed turret made a sweet target ;) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bombloed 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 I tought the KV-2 was using a howitzer cannon? :D And its big assed turret made a sweet target ;) ya,you are right.one rocket in the ass,and BOOM.but the tank didn't had any slopped armor(year 1939 you know)but it had shitloed,and whan I say shitloed I mean lots and lots of armor,if it was slooped,I don't even want to know what it could do. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FECrtn2 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 How many mm of armor? And, do you mean that sloped armor was developed during WWII? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Leonardofury 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 I want to here "Hitler and the day he forgot it was Winter" ;) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Biohazard 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 KV-2 turret armor: 110mm front, 75mm side. And yes, it used an M-10 152mm howitzer as a main gun. It wasn't a tank - it was artillery support/bunker buster. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bombloed 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 KV-2 turret armor: 110mm front, 75mm side. And yes, it used an M-10 152mm howitzer as a main gun. It wasn't a tank - it was artillery support/bunker buster. but still,it can destroy other tanks,no ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Biohazard 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 very effectively. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FECrtn2 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2004 Depends on the enemy tank I guess. Low velocity weapons dont really get thru much armor. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Biohazard 0 Report post Posted October 1, 2004 the KV-2 doesn't need to penetrate - the explosive force of the shell is usually enough to demolish a tank from outside. Shear the turret off, blast hatches apart, split welds, generally shake the bejesus out of the occupants and ammo inside... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eisenhower 0 Report post Posted October 1, 2004 Annoyingly cheap Russian technology at its best. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bombloed 0 Report post Posted October 1, 2004 (edited) Annoyingly cheap Russian technology at its best. russain technology is cheap ? russain technology is best(alot better than thos expensive american technology) Edited October 1, 2004 by bombloed Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yamato 0 Report post Posted October 1, 2004 russain technology is cheap ? russain technology is best(alot better than thos expensive american technology ? clearly you are mistaken then how come durinfg the six day war the arabs lost heaps of planes to the ameircan - israels f-16s... etc and your saying that the mig -21 can still hold its own aginst the americans f-15s, f-16s ---- lol look during the korean war when mig -15 jet fighters were beding downed by the hawker sea fury piston planes of the RAF how come the russian tanks fell so easily during the first gulf war yes russian technology is cheap why do you think the poorer countires are running around with them Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bombloed 0 Report post Posted October 1, 2004 (edited) yamato,you think you know everything,well ,you don't the arabs had lots and lots of aircraft(more than the isrealis had,alot more).during the six day war the isreali air-force destroyed lots of aircraft while they ware on the ground.not in the air.and another thing:the F-16 and F -15 WARE NOT used during the six day war.the arabs had mig-21, the IAF used mirag ,SNCSO (also SO.4050)wator,and mister 2B.and other aircraft.but F-15 and F-16 ware not used in that war.the F-16 was developed in 74' and the f-15 was developed in 72' (that was F-15 A ,later on ,the F15 I strike eagle was developed) Edited October 1, 2004 by bombloed Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FECrtn2 0 Report post Posted October 1, 2004 Russian stuff aint that good. But its cheap and reliable, as far as I know. :D And why else would the Americans want to smack the towelheads in the Gulf? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NukesforBreakfast 0 Report post Posted October 1, 2004 well axis stuff had big guns! :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bombloed 0 Report post Posted October 1, 2004 Russian stuff aint that good. But its cheap and reliable, as far as I know. :D And why else would the Americans want to smack the towelheads in the Gulf? AK-47 anyone ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Leonardofury 0 Report post Posted October 1, 2004 yamato,you think you know everything,well ,you don't the arabs had lots and lots of aircraft(more than the isrealis had,alot more).during the six day war the isreali air-force destroyed lots of aircraft while they ware on the ground.not in the air.and another thing:the F-16 and F -15 WARE NOT used during the six day war.the arabs had mig-21, the IAF used mirag ,SNCSO (also SO.4050)wator,and mister 2B.and other aircraft.but F-15 and F-16 ware not used in that war.the F-16 was developed in 74' and the f-15 was developed in 72' (that was F-15 A ,later on ,the F15 I strike eagle was developed) Still the Russians generally had the inferior technology to NATO forces. The Russians relied on cheapness and quantity over technology. They also spent a lot of time stealing NATO technology and trying to copy it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Biohazard 0 Report post Posted October 1, 2004 lol, reliability ain't a quality of Russian stuff - many of their tank engines were so poorly made that they'd be filled with metal shavings and become unuseable after only 500 hours of use. 500 hours! That's nothing for an engine! The Russians had a few gems. The IS series. The Kalashnikov assault rifle. The Mig 29. However, taken as a whole, the Russians still lagged behind NATO by at least a decade, especially in terms of electronics. The Russian navy especially was far inferior to the American blue water fleet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
